Three Vets in the Sauna

"I served two tours in Iraq. I was wounded and after I left the service I found the best VA for helping me return to health is this VA in Hot Springs."

"I fought for our country in many wars from Desert Storm to Iraq to Afghanistan. I was a Ranger, testified before Congress about the conditions at Walter Reed hospital, I was wounded, have a plate in my chest and am part of the Wounded Warrior program."

"I love this VA and this town. I am from Boston and have been to other VA hospitals and I can tell you this one is the best. I love the peace and serenity here. People greet me on the street."

Three veterans using our Plunge. One of them believes that the water is helping to alleviate his PTSD symptoms. All three were sweating in the sauna, sharing some of their battle stories. One shared a photo on his cell phone of a very poisonous spider that roams Iraq, or Afghanistan, I can't recall which country it was since he served several tours in both countries.

These young men fought for our country. One loved the years in the service but was angry and frustrated about his medical treatment on his return. The best medical care was at a VA that the government was cutting. His distrust with our government was blatant as was the frustration with Congress. He said his entire family had served in the military in all different conflicts, but he was telling his son not to enter the military after what he was experiencing at the present time.

I remained in that sauna far too long, captivated by the war stories of fears, frustrations, anger and pain. Finally I had to leave, but before I closed the door I took one final look back at these men who appeared so healthy and fit. Because of what they had shared I saw further than the robust external into the shattered internal pieces that could linger forever. Will they ever return to "normal", whatever that is? Will they find their way back to a life that they once knew? Will they gain internal strength and hope?

I wonder and I wonder some more. Most of all I cling to hope. We here in Hot Springs have fought the battle to keep our VA open for our veterans for over 4 years. Our battle has not cost us our mental health as those three who served our country. It has cost us time, effort and some anguish. It is a small price to pay.

Dragons

A veteran sent me a quote with his response to the quote.

Challenge is a dragon with a gift in his mouth.
Tame the dragon and the gift is yours.
-Noela Evans-

"We all at some point in our lives have been challenged by some sort of dragon. When the battle is over and the dust settles only the strong will survive. That is how life goes for many of us. For our veterans, however, that is how it goes all the time, day after day, fighting one dragon after another, and often times alone."
-John- A Vietnam Veteran

As John writes, we have all experienced our own demons during our lifetime. Sharing fears lessens the pain. Feeling alone only increases the power of the dragon. Share your time over a cup of coffee or an ambling walk. Lend a book or lend an ear. In any way you can reach out to a veteran so he/she does not feel so alone.
                                                                           Above all, listen!

American Sniper

There was an unusually large crowd in our local movie theatre. Understand that this historic building is a local treasure and a gathering place for movie buffs who prefer to see a movie on a large screen in, an at-times, cold surroundings among friends and neighbors who chat amiably before and after the movies. Unlike many of the large city movie houses, the local crowd is politely quiet during the movie, respecting the rights of the other attendees.

We were greeted by many as we took our seats for the second-night showing of American Sniper. The line for the popcorn was so lengthy that we skipped the usual movie treats while choosing preferable seats among the locals sharing the latest scuttlebutt.

There were many in the theatre wearing hats or jackets that identified them as a veteran. That was no surprise; we are, after all, the Veterans Town, with both a VA facility and a State Home for Veterans. We are also still in the battle to try to save our very special VA in this peaceful, rural setting, conducive to recovery of those suffering from PTSD or other emotional issues.

The movie began, taking us all into the midst of the war in Iraq with soldiers going door to door, breaking down the doors they believed hid the armed enemy soldiers. The hero of the movie was a famed sniper who carefully took down any who threatened his fellow soldiers. The movie also drew us into the affect of his four tours on his wife and his increasing PTSD.

There was not a sound from the audience around us during the film, with the exception of one veteran who suddenly left the theatre. The movie was over and the audience filed out silently. I heard none of the usual light exchanges of banter. I do not know the feelings of the rest of the crowd. I only know that this movie sent me a strong anti-war message and I felt an even greater empathy for combat veterans and their families.

I do wonder about our veterans suffering from PTSD. How will this movie affect them? At this time I am not ready to ask them....not now, but maybe soon, or never.

Spreading the Word

Fatigue has set in. I said to my husband the other day, "I have never been so tired in my life". After a year of taking and writing interviews, two months of intensive editing and three months in publication, I have hit in exhaustion interlude. People used to refer to me as the Energizer Bunny, but, at this time it seems as if my get-up-and-go has gone-and-went.

Everything I have been involved in has been enjoyable, but I guess the emotional intensity has reached my limit for now. The problem with this recess is that this is the time I should be in promotion of Reveille in Hot Springs. What began as my contribution to our community and our VA has evolved into a passion for the rights due to our veterans. It is not just for our veterans who use our VA, but for all of our American veterans who served our country, be it peacetime or in combat, and who deserve the benefits our government once promised. They are heading for privatization of benefits and consolidation of health care in the major cities.

The veterans who need emotional health care for PTSD and substance abuse want to recover in the peace and quiet of rural VA facilities. The larger hosptials located in the metro areas have too many triggers that can reverse their recovery, and because of their size, veterans are treated as numbers and patients, not as veterans.

In the private hospitals doctors are not trained to recognize PTSD, agent orange related diseases and the special needs that veterans require for their healing. Also, it has been proven that the most cost-effective way to treat our veterans is through VA centers. It will cost the taxpayers more to have veterans seek treatment in private hospitals.

It makes sense to keep and improve our VA hospitals. It makes sense to give all veterans, combat related or not, their full benefits, much as our representatives in Washington receive after their years of service to our country. I wonder if we will have future soldiers to enter the military when young men and women begin to realize that if they serve and do not get VA benefits for non-combat-related injuries or illnesses, that they will need to obtain insurance which is often beyond their means.

Then there are the homeless veterans, drifting the country, perhaps getting welfare, who are lost in the muddle of the indigent who have never served. Does adding to this cost, rather than treatment and retraining for society make sense?

Oh, yes, I could go on and on, but again, my frustration and anger at this muddled system only adds to my exhaustion. I need to recoup and regroup for the battle ahead.

This morning I got a phone call from someone who brought a "bunch of books" at the bookstore and is bringing them over for me to personalize. She said she is spreading them around the country during her travels. She wants the word out there. So do I. So do I. Thank you to everyone who purchases books, gives them out to others or sends them on for reviews. You help the cause. You help our veterans, and you help out this temporarily un-wound bunny.

If you help spread the word, thank you from all of our veterans. Thank you from me.

April Rain

All night it came down - that wonderful, wonderful rain! Our winter lacked moisture and, up until now, our Spring was taking us down the path of drought. My thoughts immediately go to the lack of hay for our ranchers, and, especially, to the potential for those dreaded wildfires.

It has been five years since our fire of 7-7-7 that I wrote about in "Cascade of Flames". The past four months I have been writing about the PTSD suffered by many of our veterans. From WWII up to the recent wars, our young men and women return to civilian life with varying degrees of scars they procured during their time of service. I believe that some of the fears they faced will never be totally erased. The WWII veterans, after all of these years, hate to be reminded of "bad memories". Their faces grew dark when recounting some of their experiences. It seems to me that traces of PTSD will remain forever within the recesses of any who have experienced death, killing or destruction in any form. That is one reason why the VA must keep the rural VA hospitals open to assist all veterans from all wars for as long as they need that help.

My experiences in that horrific fire remain with me after five years. I guess that is a form of PTSD. The alarm that automatically emerges from within when I smell smoke, hear the fire alarms, notice the dried grass on our land, or experience the occasional smoke-filled nightmares, may not be as painful as what our veterans have experienced, but at those times of sudden panic and "bad memories", I believe that I have an inkling of what they go through with reminders of their "first kill", the death of a comrade, the tension of constant alert, and the uncertainty and unknown about when, where, or if, they will be deployed.

The death of those close to me will always carry some pain. Through those experiences and other jolts that have occurred in my life, I am grateful for the connection that flows from deep inside to any who weep over their past; the past which may never be completely erased. I am grateful for the rain and for those connections that link us one to the other.

Back for a Bit

Life is filled with writing letters to the editor, interviewing veterans and writing up their testimonials to send to the VA administration in Washington, along with the proposal to save our VA.

The stories I am hearing from veterans from all branches of service and from many conflicts are thoughtful, angry, concerned and honest. I am compiling them into my next book, "Voices of Veterans". I am going to be the voice for the veterans who are unable to speak for themselves because of PTSD.

Meanwhile, for brief moments of joy, I spend time watching our bees coming in and out of the hive. When the temperature is above 40% and the sun is shining on their hive, they crawl out and fly off to relieve themselves, returning in a short time to the warmth of their swarm. I discovered that they never eliminate waste inside of the hive, and that is the only reason they venture out, since there are no food sources in the cold of winter.

Perhaps they enjoy a brief sojourn into the outside world as well. Don't know, but I may find that out someday. They come out a few at a time, not as buzzy as in the spring and summer, but busy just the same. The expression "busy as a bee" has merit. I try to picture them inside, warming their queen and feasting on the honey they worked so faithfully to harvest all last season. Do they dream of the colorful flowers that are waiting to bloom in the season just around the corner?

Perhaps one of the best parts of being human is that we can, and do dream and hope for a better tomorrow. Without our dreams, the present can be pale and lacking richness. They say, "live for today", and that is true. Today is what we have, but then our dreams can add some luster to even the darkest and coldest of todays.

Off and Running

Emails are flying, phones are ringing and meetings are being held. The town of Hot Springs and the surrounding areas of Pine Ridge Indian Reservation and Nebraska are up in arms. We are determined to go up against Washington to persuade them not to close our wonderful VA hospital and Domiciliary.

The veterans of this country have given their best years to protect our freedoms and they deserve to keep what they have. They do not want to be sent to regular hospitals, even if closer to their homes. They want, and have earned the right to be treated in comfortable surroundings, staffed by medical people who understand the needs of veterans.

Many suffer physical injuries along with PTSD, both of which may require lifetime treatment. They are asking to have their medical needs provided in the manner in which they can survive, and perhaps, even thrive, in a peacetime environment.

We know of too many stories of returning veterans who have not received the help they needed to adjust to civilian life. They have lost their jobs, families, and even their lives. What a sad statement on the lack of adequate or timely care that our country has provided for them. We ask them to serve, but are gradually taking away our service to them.

Many of our veterans have difficulty expressing their needs to others, especially in a group setting. We, as a community, are helping these veterans to find a voice in Washington. The veterans who can express themselves are fighting another battle. They fought in WW II, Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf Wars, Iraq or Afghanistan. Now they are fighting the heads of the veterans administration to keep what this country should be able to afford for these men and women who have returned with scars, mental and/or physical, that can last a lifetime.

Our veterans in this area are asking that they can still be treated at the VA hospital in Hot Springs. They know that it is the finest program in the United States for drug and alcohol rehabilitation and treatment for PTSD. The government owns the land in which they can build new facilities with less expense than building at a new location in Rapid City. The veterans appreciate the tranquility of this small community, located in the beautiful setting of the Southern Black Hills. Hot Springs has always been known at the Veteran's Town, the town that accepts and cares for veterans. Veterans come first with us. They, and we, are family.