Wandering Between Past, Present and Future

It's that time of year when memories flow out like a river, at times overwhelming the present. I am writing my annual Christmas cards and I remember friends and stories from grade school, high school, college, various careers, family and places. Each year, as I get older, the memories become greater and consequently, they float in and out of one another, at times clear, and then again, fuzzy and fading.

With each card and stamp I realize once again that someone, somewhere in my life has left a mark, had added to my life in one way or another. After all my life is not in isolation. I have been imprinted by family, community, schools, friends jobs and activities.

They say to live in the past brings regrets, and to fret about the future brings fear. It is best to live in the present, which is do-able, but there are times when reaching back reminds me of how long a journey I have made and how much I have learned.

My past brings few regrets. I have learned from my mistakes, and that is what is important to me.
I often lived my life with worry about the future...will I have enough money to survive in retirement? Will I succeed at my job? Will my daughter have a good, rich life? Will I outlive all of my friends and family? Will I be alone? Will I finish my next book?

Concerns for the future bring tension. I get that from my father. He lived in the present but planned for the future. He worried, as do I. But at this time of year, looking back with each card I write, seal and stamp, I am brought face on with the realization that each person and event brought nothing but growth in the long term. Why did I worry? Too much of life is spent in worry, and not enough in relishing in the now...right now....at this time and place, writing cards by the fire in our cozy house in the beautiful Black Hills of southern South Dakota.