It has been said that as we age we celebrate more goodbyes than hellos. That has a ring of truth. During the past years I have lost my parents, a bother, a sister and some friends. I welcome new friends to be sure, but the loss of the longest friendships seem to be the most difficult to experience.
This week I said farewell to Ruth, a friend who has been an important part of my life since 1993. We met when we worked together at an elementary school in the Hopkins School District. I was the school conselor with a strong belief in the power of goups. As the school psychologist she joined me in leading those groups. We parted professional company within another year but our friendship continued and grew.
We lived in the same suburb of Minneapolis and had frequent visits, sharing laughter, tears and joys. We walked together through my adoption, the deaths of my mother and sister, adding my father to our household, my marriage in Malta and the death of my father. I was there when her brother moved in with her after he retired and her grief at his early passing. My husband and I had encouraged her to add a bathroom downstairs while she was remodeling her home to add an additon for her brother who joined her and her mother in sharing a home. She continued to thank us over the years for that advice. Both her mother and brother made use of that bathroom as they grew sick and were unable to use the stairs.
My husband and I included Ruth for our weekly Sunday brunches. Ruth and I met with a monthly support group of strong women who had worked with us over the years as a school principal, a social worker, counselors and a psychologist. That goup of extraordinay women is meeting to this day and celebrated Ruth's birthday a few months before she died. Today these women are saying their farewells at her funeral.
As for me, my husband and I moved away in 1998 but through the years we kept contact through cards and phone calls and our yearly visit to Minneapolis where we visited over a lengthy lunch.
I will not attend her funeral today but I remember a good friend and grieve her passing. She will not be forgotten. Her absence has left a void in my heart.
Ruth and I both missed those weekly brunches after my husband and I moved to the Black Hills. Our friendship continued through phone and letter. True friends are rare and I will treasure the memories..
Goodbye and thank you for the good times we shared.
And so once again we say goodbye to summer and fall. The leaves have colored and are falling everywhere. A few track into the house. The butterflies have flown south, along with many of the birds. The air has turned brisk and it is time for sweaters and jackets and the warmth of cozy bathrobes while sitting by the fireplace.
